Done...

I had my last radiation treatment today!  I will now need to adjust my thinking about my life and schedule.  No more daily trips to Walla Walla.  What SHALL I do with my time? 

We are headed to Haines, OR to hang out with our friends and family there.  Ben, Kendra & Tim  and Daniel will all be there, as well as Tim's family.  This will be a great way to celebrate schedule freedom!

I have put my name back in the hat for substitute teaching so that might fill my days a little in the new year.

I will continue to do physical therapy, to keep the radiated muscles from hardening and shrinking, on a once a week basis.  I can exercise moderately.. being careful to not damage compromised muscle tissue.

My skin is a bit red where they have been radiating but not bad at all.  There is no blistering or weeping.   In a couple of weeks that should all be pretty well healed up!

I begin taking Arimidex tomorrow and will continue for 5 years. This is an estrogen blocking drug that will prevent further estrogen fed cancers from developing.  There are many possible side effects of this drug.  Please pray that this drug works well for me... or that we are able to find another alternative if necessary.

Thank you for yours prayers!

Boost

Today radiation changed to "boost". That means they narrow the field radiation to just the area where the tumor was.  It will only be one 20 second treatment instead of the 5 from two angles.  This treatment is also from a new angle, more directly over the top of me rather than from the side. This will let all of the general area (under my arm..etc) heal up from "radiation response" and make the area they are hitting increasingly sore. The good news is I only have 9 boost treatments. I have three more this week, 4 next week and then 1 the following Monday and then I am DONE with radiation!! I am getting excited ! Dr. Nigrin said I could start back up with full Curves workouts now. Very good news as well!  Unfortunately I have gained a few pounds in the last few months. I am anxious to reverse that trend! Tomorrow I will go and start with weighing, measuring and retesting on all the machines.. get a fresh new start. I intend to get stronger and healthier every day! :)

This is what my head looked like last Friday,(12/11/09) when Lesta (my sister) was here visiting.  We had great time just hanging out, doing Christmas shopping, baking, tree decorating and of course going to treatments.  What a special time!

This is what I look like today (12/15/09)   There is hair there :)  I promise !

My hair is starting to grow again. I can feel more stubble on my head every day. At this point it is rather soft, fuzzy...kind of like new hair on a babies head. However, I sense that stronger hair is beginning to grow :) This morning I stepped outside to check the weather and could feel the wind blowing thru the short hair :) Perhaps I am dreaming..wishful thinking.   

I am thankful for the warm hats I have, (and my wig).   I have had a several of people make me great hats. I love these generous, comfortable and attractive head coverings! Here are just a couple examples of them!

I am constantly reminded how blessed I am with friends and family who love me, pray for me, and care for me in so many wonderful ways!  I have also been blessed by minimal negative symptoms, a direct result I believe for your many prayers.

Radiation: Half way there!

Short Version: I am now half done with my daily radiation treatments. So far they have gone well, with minimal troublesome effects. I am thankful for this! It appears that I will be done with treatments the week after Christmas.
I have been negligent in posting on this blog. I don’t have any really good reasons, procrastination, and laziness come to mind. I have thought of you all and written several blogs in my head on the way to or from my Radiation treatments, but they just haven’t made it to the keyboard.

Long Version: My daily trips to Walla Walla have been made bearable by listening to a book on tape. At my sister, Lura’s suggestion I have chosen The #1 Ladies Detective Agency books by Alexander McCall Smith. They have been fun.

The treatments themselves are not problematic at all. I was told I wouldn’t feel anything. I beg to differ with them on that. I can feel a warm sensation in the area they are radiating. To my mind this only makes sense. The high intensity “x-rays” are killing cells. That is the whole point right? It is not particularly painful, just a warming up…like you might have with an infected area. I was warned about the radiation “sunburn”. I feel very fortunate that I have not yet seen that affect. I am faithfully using an aloe gel twice a day, once right after treatment, and just before bed. I suppose now that we are on the second half of the treatments I will see more skin irritation.

The treatments are done from two angles, from my left and above me, and then from the right and below me. The fields of treatment from both sides cross at the point where the tumor was. On each side they “radiate for 19 seconds, then change the shape of the field and do 2 seconds more. On the left side they are doing two 2 second fields…. only one on the right. It doesn’t take very long at all. It takes longer to get ready and set up just so, than to do the treatment.

I have noticed some swelling, tenderness, heat etc. in the right breast which is being treated. I have also experienced some aching and soreness in my right hand and arm. My Physical Therapy appointments have been working to keep the swelling down, range of motion up, and muscles relaxed on my right side. I have found this to be pretty helpful. I also have had two sessions of Thai Chi, a form of relaxation and exercise. I am still deciding if that is helpful or something I want to do. Yesterday’s session was better than the first. I guess I need to give it a honest try, because I am the pilot project on this new therapy plan for cancer patients. I find it hard to keep it all straight in my mind. And, frankly I have lots of other fun stuff to do

A couple of days ago, as I was getting ready for bed, I took my wig off and hung it up. Preston said “Does it feel weird to just take your hair off every day?” I looked at him… and laughed. (It must be weird to see me do that!) I replied “My whole life is weird right now, every day I bare my breast to two strange men…” We laughed about it and are thankful this is short term. My hair will grow back, and radiation will end (if all goes well) Dec 28th

Preston and Daniel both told me that they prefer me with hair. While I am not ugly bald, and have a nice shaped head, I just look better with hair. I was glad to hear this. I like myself better with hair, and I don’t buy the story that women are more beautiful bald. (The staff over at the cancer center tries to sell that line.)

I am thankful for my wonderful kids who did most of the work of putting on the Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Kendra also helped me put up my Christmas decorations (nativities), always a big job, it wears we out when I feel good. It was wonderful to have her loving & enthusiastic help.

I am looking forward to having my sister, Lesta, come for a visit next week. Christmas baking, Christmas tree, and shipping presents are on our list of fun things to do together.

I don’t have much stamina, my muscles always feel like I have done a really hard workout (I haven’t). I have aches in odd places. It was explained to me yesterday, by my chiropractor, that the whole body is effected (hmmmm where have we heard that before) even when one area is being radiated, every part of the body is sending energy and resources to rebuild cells and repair damage.

I am grateful for the body of Christ and the energy and resources you have sent my way. You are praying, encouraging and rebuilding me!

Chemo -Gaining Strength

I am gaining strength daily as I begin to shake off the effects of Chemo Therapy.  I notice the chem taste in my mouth lessening.  I have more clarity of mind and more bounce in my step!  :)
I am aware I still fatigue easily, and if I don't drink at least 2 qts of water (more is better) then I get that taste in my mouth and tired quickly.

My muscles lack stamina and strength. When I exercise I find that my heart rate goes up really fast.  Physical Therapy tells me to keep it at 50%... but that is hard to do. I get on the Curves machines and my mind wants to go at my usual pace.  Gotta sloooow down.   This is all part of the damage the chemicals do to the cells in the body.   They will come back and I will be back to my old self  in the near future.  I am hoping that by continuing to exercise in some form I will be able to speed up the healing process.

I continue to praise God for his graciousness to me.  He protected me from nausea, vomiting, sores in my mouth and out of control infections.  I thank you for your prayers and encouragement.

Sore... tired....

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, but as the day has worn on that feeling has left me.

The wind was blowing this morning, the kind of wind I love to take advantage of  to get rid of leaves.  Getting the leaves up in the air, using a leaf blower or rake, and watching them blow away into the field is one of my fall pleasures.  I just couldn't resist the opportunity to play with the wind and leaves before my radiation appointment  at 11:45.   I reluctantly quit and went to Walla Walla.  I got there with the appropriate amount of time to change and read my devotional.. ready when they were!  But Alas!  There were about 4-5 people ahead of me!  I waited in for about 1 hour.  That just about did me in! I became more tired as the minutes wore on.  I was assured that this was very unusual.   I heard a comment from another patient that Mondays seem to be like this. We shall see!      Please pray that I would have the right attitude about these daily trips and treatments.  I just can't let this get me down.

I saw was a very resourceful, smart lady.   Instead of putting on one of the ridiculously long, open in the front, exposing hospital gowns, she brought a button up the front, loose fitting shirt.  Much more coverage, and comfortable, and no long tails to fight with on the radiation table.  I am going to do some prowling in my closet for the right shirt.


After my treatment I went to a friends house (Brenda Kirk) to hang out until my Physical Therapy Appt at 3.  What a blessing to have a place to rest.  I was able to work on my Fruit of the Spirit Bible Study with a gorgeous view of the Blue Mountains in the distance, and a playful kitten investigating my lunch and Bible.  It almost made me want to have a inside cat. Then I rested in a recliner with the kitten napping right beside me!

I am struggling at the moment with slow plumbing... the effect of anti-nausea meds.  I expect that it will be resolved in a day or two, but it is not very comfortable now. 

My muscles are sore and weak, and I have no energy to speak of.

Thank you for your prayers!

4th and Last Chemo!

Short Version: The last chemo went without incident. I am feeling more symptoms tonight, but I was able to join my friend Dawn's 40th birthday party. I also had my 4th radiation, (the last one at 7:30 AM Hallelujah!!!) Between treatments Preston & I went out for breakfast, and then for a great 2 mile walk around a small “lake” (Bennington Lake) near Walla Walla. A very good way to pass the time!

Long Version: Radiation was uneventful. I talked the Phlebotomist into drawing my blood at the time of my Radiation treatment… so we wouldn’t have sit in the waiting room while the blood is processed. Then we left for breakfast and our walk (at Kendra’s suggestion- good call, my dear!)

We had a nice chat with Dr. Quakenbush about what’s next, and how I will be monitored for return cancers (His answer was “annual mammograms, but others in my Dr. team may say differently”). He also got the ball rolling on the Arimidex. (the 5 year estrogen blocking prescription) He had an insurance specialist get preauthorization…it currently costs $300 a month (it should go generic in a year). Praise God our insurance covers it without preauth. with a $25 copay per month and if we get it through mail order… 3 month supply cost $50. Before I left the Cancer Center the mail order people called me and it is all set up!! Amazingly fast and easy! Dr. had volunteered that if our insurance wouldn’t cover it they had many ways to help with the cost.

Again, my blood work was “beautiful”. They did have to search for a good vein for the IV, but did it with one stick. I remembered my Ipod this time.. so I was able to listen to soothing music, and I worked on my Fruit of the Spirit Bible Study! GOOD Stuff in it today!, about God’s patience with us. I had not seen before that God said he put the rainbow in the sky to remind himself and us that he will not destroy the earth again that way. He realizes how frail we are. What a great God we serve! I am thankful for His patience!

At the end of the treatment the nurse gave me a piece of “last treatment celebration cake”. What a fun gesture.









I am feeling a few more symptoms…it seems to me. More tingly feet and lips. More leaning toward queasy, especially if I move too fast, but no nausea or vomiting. My head feels thick.

I came home to a very cheerful bouquet of balloons and a plant from my family in Talent!    Thank you Mom, Dad, Cyndi & Scott

My camp friend Pam sent me 4 white roses. She began a tradition (at my first chemo treatment) of four roses each white rose signified a completed chemo. Today they are alllllll white. My friend Dawn (I think) added the yellow lilies. They are very pretty don’t you think?

I feel very loved and cared for!

Please pray that I know how much to rest, how much to exercise, and when to ask for help. I am sometimes feeling overwhelmed and discouraged… especially about the daily trips to Walla Walla and some projects I need to organize. I keep reminding myself…. One Day At A Time!

Radiation Begins

Short Version: 
Last Thursday I had the prep work done for radiation.  This involved high tech measuring and a CT Scan.  I was told that after the team of 4 experts got together, reviewed my information and develop the treatment plan I would be called to make my first appointment.   Yesterday, Monday, I got the call, and my first radiation appointment was scheduled for 7:30 this morning.  The rest of the week my daily appointments will be at 7:30 Then next week they will be at 11:45 and it will continue to be such for the duration of the 37 treatments

Long Version: 
At the appointment last Thursday, Preston and  I  met with Dr. Nigrin, she didn't tell us anything we didn't already know, except that they could start the radiation therapy as early as the next week.  I reminded her that I had one more chemo treatment on the following Friday.  She indicated that was no big deal, in many places treatments are done concurrently.  She did say that there seemed to be a preference to do them consecutively here (she is relatively new to the area), but a little overlap will not be problematic at all.    I am of the mind that "the sooner we start, the sooner we are done"..... so....  On With IT!  :)   Once they have the information from the Simulation and CT Scan four team members would meet (Dr. Nigrin, someone else who was an expert in machine settings and doses, and a team leader from the radiation therapist, and some other important person) and set up the treatment plan, then I would get a call and be told when my first treatment would be.

Simulation: During the SIM Preston sat in the Radiation Waiting area visiting with the people who were waiting for radiation treatments.   The Simulation was a bit mysterious.   They had me lay on a table that had lumps and bumps, and a contraption that held my head in a  "just so" place and my arms and hands "just so" over my head. " tip your chin up...to the left just a bit.... now don't move or we will have to start all over!  Don't talk unless you need too.... people always talk with their hands."    Then the measuring, surveying, and marking began.  It appeared to me they were using laser lights and cross hairs, and maybe even a tape measure to do all the marking... with a felt marker. They drew boxes and lines and I don' tknow what all on my right breast, then they marked 4 spots.... two on my chest mid line and one on each side of my body, I think at the bottom of my rib cage.  These they tattooed. Yep, I have my first and only tattoos!  Four little periods. My understanding is that these tattoos are used for the lining up everything each time to make sure they are radiating the exactly right area.   I really wish I could have had an out of body experience to be able to watch what they were doing, and watch the equipment they were using so I could understand that all better.  Once they had me all marked up they taped wires on the markings and little wire dots on the tattoos and sent me to CT.  Actually it wasn't immediate, CT was backed up with emergency room jobs. So I waited with Preston for a little while in the waiting room.

CT Scan: When I got to the CT room I had the pleasure of seeing a familiar face.  Gary Jensen's (a friend and member of our church family) daughter Pam was there.  She usually works at the Dayton, WA hospital but has been training on the machines in the Walla Walla hospital.  We gave each other  a hug. Another one of God's blessings in my life.  He has been so good to me!!
I was surprised how quick and efficient CT was.  The gals there were great...once again getting me in the "just so" position and before I knew it  I was done!    We could go to lunch at Preston's new favorite lunch place, Italian Bistro.. that has an all you can eat buffet.

Physical Therapy: Monday I had a PT appointment.  After I exercised at Curves I headed over to the hospital.  Andrea is happy with the resolution of scar tissue and pronounced me ready to start radiation. She worked on range of motion on my right side, lymph node massage, and releasing muscle tension in my neck.  Then it was 10.5 minutes of a stepper/bike kind of machine.    She discussed with me the PT Dept.'s progress in understanding the Danish study that indicated 7 hours of week of exercise/massage/yoga  which Dr. Quackenbush is so excited about.  I am their test case, and they are still figuring out how to implement it.  She said they should know more by Thursday's appointment.

Radiation Therapy:  Doesn't that sound nice and soothing!  Hah!   While I was at PT Monday, Gayle at Radiation called, "We are ready to start therapy.... tomorrow, how about 7:30 AM. and that would be your appointed time for the duration, unless you want to shift to another  time when it opened up,  one opens up next week at 10:15 or 11:45"     I am thinking , "Wow.... I don't like to get up in the morning.  but it would be good to get it out of the way...hmmmm 7:30!  The other option was 6:30 in the evening. That would impact my family more.  So I took the 7:30 AM for this week at least and tentatively moved to the 11:45 because my twice a week PT is at 10:15 (most of the time)  That way I can dovetail the appointments...I hope.  I counted out the 37 days of "therapy" on the calender and it appears I will be done on December 23rd!

I went to my first "radiation therapy" today, they again did some measuring, marking, aligning, x-rays, photographs and pronounced "me" beautiful! (I thought that was an interesting word to use.)  and then gave me my first treatment.  Gayle told me that when I was getting dressed I should look in the mirror with my arms over my head.  Everything inside the box would be the treatment area.  I thought about taking a picture of it  but then I thought .... who would I show it to?  So I haven't ...(Aren't you glad I didn't post something like that!  The stuff of nightmares!   :) 

I asked about whether or not they worked Veteran's Day, and they do... so I mentioned that I thought I might be done just before Christmas. Gayle told me not to make any definite travel plans for the holidays because if the machine breaks down or some other unforeseen glitch  happens those therapy appts. will be added to the end... there is no getting out of them.   She seems to be very businesslike and no nonsense.  She also let me know that it was unacceptable to be a moment late.  The schedule is tight, with the 'one and only' machine booked every 15 minutes from 7:00 in the morning to 7:00 at night (or something close to that).   Be here early, waiting for your turn... ready to go!"  I felt chastised.   I shall be early tomorrow!  I think I shall plan on reading my devotions in the waiting room.   I don't want to be the cog that brings the whole system down.

I exercised on my way home, might as well make good use of the trip to town., and then I had the whole day ahead of me.

I am feeling pretty good, (I took a nap today) and I am thankful that I have been able to get some projects organized for next week when I won't feel so great.   I have my final Chemo treatment on Friday.

Thank you again for your prayer, encouragement and assistance!

Chemo #3 Follow Up Appt

I am gaining strength back daily.   I was able to exercise yesterday, plan to tomorrow... I just might go for a walk today too.  I am thankful that I only have a few days where I am "too pooped to pop!"   This last weekend I was able to assist Preston in putting away hoses as well as cutting down some dead flowers and such.  It really feels good to be out in the fresh air & moving.

We also made a trip to the TriCities mall to shop for soft, comfortable, cotton, no underwire, with fasteners (not pullover) bra. (at the radiation dept's suggestion)  That was a frustrating & exhausting experience!  They are scarce, not very well made or fitting or they add something silly like an itchy trim!  I went to Sports Authority, thinking they would have a great selection of sport bras.  NOPE!  I will be doing my shopping online I guess.

We did enjoy the trip over there.. seeing fall colors and checking out what is going on around us.  


I met with Dr. Quackenbush yesterday, They drew blood as usual, they do lots of that.  At least the gal that does it is efficient and quite pleasant.   She has a funny little voice, but her heart is good and she is entertaining.  (She did suggest a bra she buys at K-mart  I will have to check it out.)

Blood Work 
My white blood cell count was 23.2 (normal 4.0-11.0)  Dr was practically giddy about how good that was and asked me what secret food I was eating.  I am clueless.  Lately I have only been eating what is easy to fix, sounds good, and  feels good going down.  That hasn't been particularly nutritious or magical.  Ramen Cup of Noodles (which I NEVER eat because it is too salty) had really hit "the spot", and cottage cheese with salt and pepper on it.   Spicy or flavorful food seem to enhance the chemo taste in my mouth.
Anyway back to white count and immune system.  He jokingly told me I could go to a TB ward and not get sick when I mentioned that Daniel had come home from Indianapolis with a cold.   So I guess I don't need to be overly worried about the flu.  I am washing my hands and being wise, but it appears my body is able to do  a great job of fighting off whatever comes my way.  I believe the "secret" ingredient is prayer.  I am incredibly thankful for each of you holding me up before our Lord Jesus.  I have had more blessings than I can count!  You are the biggest one!  Just one more Chemo treatment to go! :)

Physical Therapy
I have also started Physical Therapy per Dr. Q.'s instruction to combat fatigue.   The PT gals I am seeing are focused specifically on Breast Cancer & Lymphedema prevention.  I have had not lymphatic problems at all (arm swelling) but in her initial assessment she found scar tissue and swelling in the breast tissue related to biopsy & lumpectomy. She also found restricted range of motion, which is nothing new to me. But apparently if you do use your complete range of motion your are not activating the lymph system fulling which can cause problems.  She wants all that resolve before radiation starts because it can cause more scar tissue and swelling.   PT will also prevent future lymphedema that might come through radiation or unknown triggers. I am learning how to massage the lymph system.  I am sure this will be helpful information.  It is not what I thought I was getting.  I envisioned a full body, relaxing, deep tissue massage.   Deep tissue massage collapses the lymph system.  Lymph system massage is very gentle and on the surface.   The therapists will be seeing me twice a week for the next three weeks.  She has hinted that we will be massaging  breast scar tissue & lymph system and exercise training,  maybe some tai chi instruction.  I don't know what the plan is after radiation gets underway.     The research the Dr. is pushing is brand new and the PT Dept is as blow away by it as I am.  90 min. of exercise a day is.....overwhelming.  I was the first patient they saw with those orders from the doc.  They aren't quite sure what to do about it.... It is almost comical to be a part of this whole thing!      I can tell you this, my breast is more tender than it has been, but then all this massage would do that I think.

Radiation
I have an appt on Thursday for the radiation prep. 1. Visit with Dr. Nigrin  2. Radiation Simulation  including tattooing for accurate targeting 3. CT scan.  It is supposed to take all morning.   I will update you on it when it is done.

I'm pooped.

Today I am much more tired.   I am succumbing to laziness.    I have more achiness, and just generally feel like a worn out, wet dishrag.   Part of me says if I would just get moving I would feel better, the other part says "What ARE you thinking!!?"
My niece (Allyson), daughter (Kendra), and sister-in-law (Suzanne), suggested that I get a good book and curl up on the couch and read.  The problem with that is .... you have to keep your eyes open, hold the book up, and turn the pages. Inspiration struck at the end of my morning rest.  Books on CD!!  I went to  Weston Public Library and check one out.  I shall put it in the player... and listen to Lisette Lecat read "Tears of the Giraffe" by Alexander McCall Smith

Prayer request:   Daniel is in Indianapolis, Indiana for National FFA Convention.  Pray that he comes home healthy, pretty please.

Chemo #3

Short Version:   Blood levels were perfect.  Chemotherapy Treatment went without a problem.  The nurse did have a little more difficulty getting the IV started, it took two tries this time.  But, still not bad.   Afterwards, I felt good enough to go to Daniel's football game in Irrigon, OR.  The weather was great, no wind, and about 50 degrees.  WM won, and Daniel got to play in the 2nd half.  Well worth the effort of going.  I have continued to have a fair amount of energy and have been able to check several things off my "to do list".  I have yet to experience the nausea and vomiting that is historically associated with Chemotherapy.  I am thankful for each of you  and your prayer.  I am certain this is a huge factor in my ability to go on this "journey" with the amount of grace and strength I have been given.

Long Version:  and it is long....


Hair Loss:

Last Wednesday I attended a "Look Good, Feel Better" class, at the cancer center, hoping to get some suggestions on head covering and applying makeup to minimize the hair loss affects.   It wasn't as helpful as I had hope.  This may be a bit arrogant on my part, but with a little research, I think I could do a better job of teaching scarf tying for the head and share other ways to cover the head.    But a couple of good things came out of the class.  The gal I bought my wig from brought in wigs for the other gals in the class to try on,  I asked her about the fit of mine. She indicated that she needed to remove 2 rows of hair and then it would fit great.  At the same time she would wash and condition it. :)  So we left it at her shop on the way to Chemo.  Afterwords we stopped back by and picked it up and at the same time I asked her if she would shave off the remnants of hair left on my head.  It was fussy, and weird, and reminded me of Gollum from "Lord of the Rings".  She graciously took her razor to my head.   I had tried to use my leg razor... but it just wasn't working.   It felt much better, but was still a bit nubby, so the next morning I took my leg razor to it in the shower.  AHHH.. now nice and smooth.  Lotion goes on much nicer, and I feel better about it.
I still have a few eyelashes, albeit sparsely distributed.  A little mascara helps accentuate them.   Maybe I will be lucky enough to not lose them all completely.  Eyebrows are thinning. I have purchased an eyebrow pencil to fill that in a bit.     While I do have to shave my legs, it is not anywhere near as frequent as normal, which is kinda nice. Also, those pesky chin hairs that grow faster that I can keep up with.... they are gone as well. :)

Nausea:
I have not experience any of that.  I am certain prayer and medications are instrumental in this blessing.   I did have  some sort of allergic reaction to something Saturday morning.. rashy, hot, sorta itchy all over my body.  It wasn't particularly irritating, just got my attention.  Preston insisted I call the Dr. He suggested not taking the nausea med.  I had already taken it that morning, along with the loratadine I take for allergies.  After that. the symptoms seemed to fade and it was not problem.  I continued with the meds and have had no other problems.

Gastrointestinal Irritation:
This seems to be one of the main symptoms I deal with.  It is just a mouth, esophagus, stomach, gut irritation.  Feels "burny"  & slows down the "plumbing".  The Dr. reiterated to me that I need to rinse my mouth with soda water 5 times a day.  The saliva glands excrete the chemo drugs and it then drains throughout the rest of the system.  It has helped my tremendously to more fully understand this.  Not that it makes it any easier to remember to do it.  I try... I really do... but I just get busy and distracted.  (I think I will go do that now :)   He also suggested a nutritional supplement "GlutaSolve" that is supposed to enhance GI health.  I have been using it for the last few day and it seems to be help.... I think.  It isn't too bad.  I am adding it to my breakfast yogurt and berries.  The "slow plumbing" immediately following Chemo is continuing to be a concern.  It takes a while to get that straightened out again. 

Fussy Brain:
This symptom cropped up this last week. Just a few examples:
1) I left the keys in the car, on ACC. Needless to say the battery was VERY dead.  I have never done that kind of thing before.
2) Lost a favorite hat for a while, practically tore the house apart looking for it.  Found it in my underwear drawer, I am sure I had some good reason for putting it there ;)
3)  I had some money given to me for a special purpose, I put it in an envelope in a "logical" place, subsequently could not find it for the life of me.

I discussed this with the Dr and nurse.  They both assured me this was Chemo Brain and is temporary, BUT brand new research indicates a new treatment plan for this malady.  Here is what I remember of it:   (I believe this is daily)

• 30 minutes of warm up exercise
• 45 minutes of resistance training (weights...I think Curves will work nicely)
• 15 minutes of cardiovascular training
• Massage!  I said "Yes I would like that".....  Doc said... "I can arrange that for you", and he has!! Would it be nice to do this daily!!! HA
• Meditation & Stretching (Yoga, or something like that)

 I am not an exercise enthusiast.  This seems like a huge hunk of time that could be spent on more valuable stuff.  I will, however,implement as much of this as I can.  I do find that exercise does help.
I have an appointment with the Hospital's Physical Therapy Dept for a massage, and a friend is loaning me a DVD of the basics of yoga stretching. The meditation piece I believe I already do with my prayer, study and meditation on God's Word.  This has, and continues to be of tremendous comfort  and encouragement to me, not to mention the challenge to live outside of "myself".


Thank you again for all your prayer and encouragement. Pray that I am able to keep exercising and find the right balance in caring for myself, meeting family needs & doing God's work.  (Oh, and that the plumbing gets going again :)

Blood Work and Chemo #2 Followup

Short Version:
My blood work at the mid point between treatments was well within normal range. Dr. thinks everything is going well.

Long Version:
That is much better than where it was at the first midpoint.  I asked for copies of the lab results and  this is a summary of the white count... the one they are most concerned about.
The Normal Range is 4.0 - 11.0

9/14    1.3   (the first midpoint when white count will be the lowest)
9/25    6.5   (2nd treatment day)
10/5    11.6  ( I guess that shot they gave me worked!  This is quite an improvement!)

The lab report has many other things it measures, which problably tells somebody something... but I don't get it.  At this point the white blood cells are what I am most concerned about, because those are the ones that fight infection.  There are many viruses going around and it is comforting to know I have fighters ready to go!

I mentioned to the Dr that I was very tired.  He suggested taking Vitamin E and a dietary supplement  "GlutaSolve"  He indicated it was spendy.  It is available at Home Medical.  Apparently it is  high is glutamin, which is an amino acid that good for GI health.   I have started doing the vitamin E... but not sure if I will to the Glutasolve.  Both are up to my discretion. 

I have felt increasingly better each day and am able to do more.  Yesterday and today I have been able to do a little bit of gardening and housework.  I went to Curves on Monday, and should go today... but the day's projects made the day slip away and now I think I will conserve energy for Pioneer Clubs and Choir this evening.

I worked outside for a little while today with a bare head.  It felt great to be natural.... absorb some sun on my scary white head.   I promise you all I will not over do it. :)

On my feet all day!

My body woke me up at the early hour of 8:30 this morning.  By that I mean it told me it was time to get out of bed.   This week I have been awakened many times through out the morning, but my body didn't  get the message until about 10:00.  I take this as progress toward feelin' better :)

I was able to go to Curves today and exercise, not to my normal level, but I did the circuit 2 times and made all the machines move.  That is more than I could have done on Monday by a long shot!  It felt very good to move.  I was a little tired when I was done... but not bad.

After that I did some banking, went to JoAnn's to get some fleece for some warm head coverings, and to WalMart for groceries and scrunchies.   I found a couple of cool long scarves while I was there.  I also found a cool hair clip that I thought would hold a scarf nicely.

The scrucnchies are for an idea I have for wearing scarves on my head.  Rather than knotting them, use a scrunchie...kind of like you would long hair.  Worth a try don't ya think.

This is the scarf and hair clip I  wore to the football game tonight.  (red and black are the school colors, and we tend to like plaids because we are TigerScots... emphasis on the Scottish heritage in the area)  I put a cotton knit cap underneath it for warmth.  It sorta stayed in place and was warm.   A  little fun... and crazy maybe.

The football game was long (two overtimes) and I still have enough stamina to blog.  I had a great! day.  I wonder what tomorrow will hold!

I am thankful for the strength for today!
Thank you for your prayer!
God is Good!

Becoming Acquainted with the Couch

Just  a quick note to let you know....

I am tired, not necessarily sleepy... just..... tired.     The last couple of days I have spent a good share of the day just laying around.     I have accomplished a few small projects on the computer, but no yard work :) or housework.

I did get to Daniel's football game Monday night.  I rode with a friend to Pilot Rock,  and then when I got there I did a lot of leaning on Preston.  It felt better to stand, but I wore out quick.  Preston was great to just put his arms around me and hold me up! :)

Tuesday I laid around more, but saved up enough energy to attend the beginning of our Ladies Bible Study in the evening.  We are doing Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself   I am expecting this study to speak to my heart and challenge me in new ways.  God's timing is always right!

Today, I have finished a few more small computer projects and just got back from the church preparing for Pioneer Clubs tonight.   I have done what I can... must let the rest go, but I think everything is ready to go!

I have had some bodily "plumbing" problems today.   Just couldn't get things moving.   Quite uncomfortable... but I am happy to report...this afternoon the situation is much improved!  Too much laying around and not enough water drinking. (I think)

Chemo #2

Short Version; Chemo #2 went uneventfully, but I am finding I am more tired than last time.  I bet I will be sleeping more in the next few days.
THANK YOU!  to all of you who are praying I am clearly aware of the power of your prayers. What a blessing.  THANK YOU to all of you who have taken the time to leave comments or send me email, facebook messages or other words of encouragement!   I am amazed at your outpouring of love!  Thank you!

Long Version: Friday, September 25th  I had my second chemo treatment.    Some of you have asked where these treatments take place.

The Providence St Mary's Cancer Center is in Walla  Walla Washington, about a 25 minute drive for us.   This is where we go for shopping and medical care most of the time.   If we want some serious shopping we go to Kennewick, Washington (1.25 hrs way)  That is Preston humoring me as I take pictures.

To the left of the main entrance to the cancer center is a nice little garden area , with benches a bell and stream.

The rounded building you see behind the garden is where chemotherapy takes place.  Unfortunately the garden is at the patients back.  I think they should turn all the chairs around so the patients can see into the garden.   I love the little stream, the bridge, and all nice ornamental grasses. 

The area for treatment is a big semi circle with the nurses work area in the hub of it.  That way the can see everyone. I believe there are 12-14 stations, I haven't counted them.  I will have to do that next time ;)  After blood lab work, and my meeting with the Dr. & nurse, I am escorted to the treatment area and get to select a chair that is empty.  This last Friday, there were two empty chairs to choose from.  The nurse gently nudge me to the last one.  Apparently the other ones partner patient was having a difficult time.  The fellow next to me was older, and getting what appeared to be blood transfusions.  His wife was very nice, he was pretty quiet. This is the set up and my chemo nurse. 

My chemo drugs are docetaxel (Taxotere) and cyclophosphamide (Cytoxan).  They also give me ondasentron (Zofran)  & dexamthasone (Decadron) as anti nausea meds.  It is administered 20 min. before treatment is started, and then I get a two day supply to take home. They do a great job.  I also have lorazapam (Ativan)  to take as needed for nausea, vomiting, anxiety, sleeplessness.  The only thing I have used this for so far is the sleeplessness and it has been very helpful.

This time I read a magazine, and listened to music on my iPod, I was also able to chat on Facebook with my kids (Ben & Kendra), my sister (Lura) and a high school acquaintance Lesa Mecham.  It surely made the time pass quickly!  Thank you for taking the time to check in on me!  I did have some sensations that told me my body was getting foreign chemicals in it,  sinus pressure, and a sort of tightness in my chest,  but it was not disturbing. 

When treatment was done I got a shot in my arm of something that is supposed to boost my bone marrow into working harder at manufacturing  blood cells.    I was warned that it will cause low back pain, because that is where the bone marrow manufacturing happens.   I have already experienced some of that with the 1st treatment.  They just suggest using Tylenol or Advil for the discomfort. The wife of the patient next to me told me they had found that walking was a big help too.  I had already observed that to be true and was glad to have it confirmed.

After treatment we got in the car and headed to Mt Hood for a Oregon Camp Cedarbrook Board Retreat.  This was a working retreat where we reviewed the 2009 camp week and begin planning the 2010 year.  I had several reports to give as the Camp Director, and Preston also is involved as Business Manager, now Treasurer.

Right off  all of the women (and it is mostly women) wanted to see my head.  I mentioned wondering if I should just shave my head bald.  They began seriously discussed the fun of giving me a Mohawk with what was left of my hair and taking pictures.. then finishing the job.  They began to scrounge around for a razor.. and found a couple.  They appeared to be new. At this point I put on my director hat and said... Let's get camp work done first.   By the time we were done with camp work they had forgotten about it, as I had hoped.   They are truly a fun group of people who are a great support to me. It was good to be with them.  We accomplished everything we needed to and are off to a great start for OCC 2010.

By the time it was time to go home, Saturday afternoon, I was truly spent!  We got in the car and turned on our book on tape (The #1 Ladies Detective Agency,)  which my sister Lura suggested and I reclined and zoned all the way home.    Upon arrival at home I crashed on the couch, interacted a bit with Daniel and then went to bed. I slept well and was able to attend the church service today. My week always goes better when I am able to  worship my wonderful God with my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Here is  the condition of my head as of this morning. 

Pretty thin!   I am still debating on whether to shave it  or, out of curiosity, let nature take its course.

I am anticipating a slow and sluggish week.  I would like to go to Daniel's JV football game Monday night (in Pilot Rock), women's bible study (we are starting a Beth Moore Study this week Living Beyound Yourself, on the Fruit of the Spirit) on Tuesday night, and at least make an appearance at Pioneer Clubs on Wednesday night. We will have to see what I actually get done.

Hair....

Short Version:   Hair is falling out, it is a messy affair.

Long Version:
They  (Dr & Nurses) told me it would be 10-14 days from my first chemo treatment that my hair would leave me.  So on Day 10 (9/14)  I thought... well here goes.......nothing happened!

Day 11: still nothing.... that I noticed at least.
Day 12: I noticed unusual hair loss in an area other than my head which will remain unnamed.
Day 13:  I began to notice that my eyelashes weren't as long and thick as in the past.  They have always been one of my vanities.   The last time I looked I still had short sparse eyelashes...  not what I am used to.
Day 14:  Noticing a bit of hair from my head in the shower.  Wiped it up with a towel.
Day 15:  Quite a bit of hair in the shower.   I also notice that running fingers through my hair becomes hair in my hand. 

Day 16:  Lots of hair in the shower... and after I toweled off even more.  What a mess!    I decided to just leave it there till the tub dried... then vacuum it up.  I constantly feel like I need to brush off loose hair... kind of like after a haircut,  but the falling hair never stops.   Thank goodness wearing a wig or scarf  keeps the falling hair under control.   With all the hair falling out you would think it would be all gone now.. but noooooo. It is amazing how much hair one person has on their head! .....to think that God has them all numbered. Amazing!
Day 17: The shower of falling hair continues... I am looking ridiculous, battling a war on pride whether or not to take a picture and share the ugliness..   One of the things that surprises me is that my scalp feels a bit irritated, kind of prickly.   I hope that goes away when all the hair is gone.     Anyone want to guess on when the last of my hair is gone?


The camera won, what is the fun of sharing this journey without
pictures...

 

When I am home  I cover my balding head with a bandanna or scarf... and I am very thankful for my beautiful wig to wear in public.     This last week I substitute taught at our local middle school for 3 days.  It went really well, and my wig was a hit!  I wonder if the students responded differently to me because of my great new hair style?

My next Chemotherapy treatment is Friday 9/25.  I am to show up at the Walla Walla Cancer Center at 10:20 for lab work, then an appointment with the Dr. Q at 10:40... Treatment starts after the Dr.Q. appt.   When the treatment is done Preston & I will head directly to a cabin on Mt Hood for Oregon Camp Cedarbrook Board Planning retreat.   They tell me I will be better able to do this trip immediately after treatment than 2-3 days later.  Thankfully the retreat is at a cabin, if I need to I can lay down and rest.   Please pray that treatment goes uneventfully, and that the OCC Board retreat goes smoothly, that God would direct in reviewing and planning.

Thank you for all of your comments, encouragement and prayer.  God has blessed me in many ways: being able to take one day at a time, strength for each day's tasks, and a sense of humor.    Don't forget to pray for Preston and Daniel as they have to look at me everyday... at my worst. :)     (They have been wonderful!)

Blood Work and Chemo #1 Followup

Today, I had my first blood test and   followup appointment with Dr. Quackenbush.
My white blood cells are low, but that is expected at this point.

They asked about my symptoms:
Nausea?   None to speak of, a few occasions of a touch of queasy, but no nausea or vomiting.  I told him I do everything I can to avoid vomiting.  He agreed, that was how he would handle it too. 

Sores in the mouth?  no sores, but I can tell  there could be and my mouth feels and taste funny.  The nurse suggested that I rinse my mouth 4-5 times a day with a solution of baking soda and water (1 tsp/1 cup) to prevent sores, and get rid of the chemo inside my mouth.    I am very pleased to hear about this trick.. I will be doing it!

Constipation or diarrhea?  A little of both, but not uncontrolled or problematic at this point.  Still working on the perfect solution.

I mentioned that I had a lot of low back and leg pain early on.  A constant ache.   Dr. Quackenbush indicated that it was my bone marrow kicking it all on its own, and seem to be happy about that.   I didn't particularly like the discomfort but it is comforting to know it is a good thing happening.

I forgot to mention that I am not sleeping really well.  You can pray about that with me.  I would love to sleep all night. 

I asked again about virus and flu concerns, and timing of getting a flu shot.   I should get a flu shot on any day but a chemo day.  He said I should live an active life and not to worry beyond what I normally would about the viruses going around.   So... "Yes you should go to the football game tonight, and be sure to yell at the coach to put Daniel in the game."

I got my first call for substitute teaching this afternoon.  I will be doing Junior High Social Studies  Tuesday 9/15- Thursday 9/17.   I have done long term sub jobs for this teacher on more than one occasion in the past, so it shouldn't be too hard.  Pray that my strength holds out!   I think it will be fun to be in the classroom.  Get acquainted with the kids again.

I did purchase Wig #1  All of your interest and votes were really fun to receive and read!  Thank you for sharing in my life in this way.  Here is what it looks like after a trim.

I wore my new hair to church on Sunday and received many delightful comments.    The one that I enjoyed the most was at a potluck picnic after church.   Preston and I were sitting at a picnic table enjoying our wonderful lunch and one of the ladies came up to him and said "No Arlene today?, Where is Arlene?"    to which Preston replied, "She is right here."





After my appointment today I went to JoAnn's  and purchased some fabric to make some scarves to use when I don't want to wear my new hair, like when I am gardening, or cleaning house, or....just plain lazy.   They has shown us some that they had to share at the cancer center, but the fabrics just were not me.   I was looking for things that were not as calico looking, and that had wonderful color. (The red one has little paw prints in the corners of the plaid.  I chose that one for WMHS game days...a bit of school spirit for Daniel :).   Our JoAnn's just doesn't have much to choose from.  But is will be a great start!   The little triangle of fabric in the bottom right corner was shared with me by the cancer center.  I took it to measure it.  I plan to take it back.
You can get two scarves out of a yard of fabric, by cutting a 36" square into two triangles.  I think take one  of each to the cancer center.

Wig #4 ---Preston's Perogative

Preston thinks I should go with this one... what do you think?  The phone picture just doesn't do it justice.  It is a reddish brown.  A color I have always loved :)

Wigs

My great friend, Karen Albert and I had a girls night and went to try on wigs, take pictures and have dinner!   We had a very fun time!     I have 3 good choices for a wig.   

See what you think and post your votes. 

#1This one  is  the closest to my natural hair color.   I like the feel of this one.  If feels friendly, maybe a bit flirty... fun.   We would trim the bangs so they are not in my eyes.

#2  Preston, and Jan at the salon, think this medium brown is great for my eyes and completion.  This one is closer to lengths I have been wearing, just a bit darker than my hair currently is.

#3   A longer version, close to my own hair color.   It would be trimmed up out of my eyes.

First Chemotherapy Treatment

My first chemo treatment went well.  No complications or misery! :)   Lots of very nice nurses.  Lunch was tolerable for hospital food. My question on that is -  Why did they ask me to fill out MY requests for lunch and then bring me what they pleased?  :)

I was able to listen to great music (loud enough to drown out hospital noises) on my Ipod, lay back and take a nap!   A great way to pass the time!  I did take books, but didn't use them much.  I did have an inspiration about one of my landscaping projects in the barnyard.  Now I just need to convince Preston it is truly inspiration.  Two years ago we had to replace  a bunch of 8 in steel irrigation pipe.   It was cut into hunks and laid in pile.   I think those could be interesting sculptural additions to the barnyard.  I am thinking in a group of 3 or so, they could  be used to hold pots or flower arrangements or.... use your imagination.   Preston seeing lots of hole diggin... draggin his feet.....

It did take 4 hours with all the discussion of drugs side effects and how to take care of myself, and then the treatment.  As I was laying there with the drugs going into my vein the thought occurred to me "Oh my, what am I doing, can't go back now, where is the road taking me."  But peace reigned and the thought became resolve to take it one day at a time, remembering this is a short term bump for a long term benefit.

On the way there we stopped at a place that sells wigs.  I tried on a few, and selected 3 from a catalog they will be ordering in and I will try them on later this next week.  I think I will take my camera and take some pictures.  I will post them and you can cast your votes.   (I still have veto power ;)

So far I feel pretty darn good.  Thank you for all of your prayer, concern and encouraging notes.  
I love you all and thank God I have a wonderful, supportive circle of friends!  You make a difference!

P.S.
I just have one question :  Who are you  "Keeper of the cheese"? :) 

Treatment Plan

Short Version:  4 treatments of chemo... 3 weeks apart starting Sept 4th, then 37 daily treatments (5 days a week) of radiation, followed by 5 years of Arimidex.

Long Version:
Dr. Quakenbush shared the study results with us this morning.   My tumor is Estrogen and Progesterone receptive.  The characteristic of this tumor also have  a 22% chance of recurrence throughout my body.  Chemo would lower that by a 3rd. Because it is hormone receptive the 5 years of hormone treatment  is strongly recommended.  Radiation is to eradicate all the possible suspicious cancer cells that may be lurking in my right breast.

We were very pleased with the information we received and feel confident we have chosen the right course of action.  My young age (52) encouraged me to agree to the chemo.  Three months of a little misery and inconvenience is worth the insurance that I will have an increased chance to have the opportunity to enjoy our retirement years, and any possible grandchildren (should any of my kids decide to have kids).

Chemotherapy begins tomorrow 9/4/09 at 10:00 A.M.  the drugs of choice are taxotere & cytoxan.  It will take 4 hours to administer.   All the usual side affects  are indicated for these.  They say they have it all figured out how to control nausea and vomiting.  We shall see.  

Hair loss is a given.  (apparently in about 10-14 days)  I have made an appointment with my hairdresser to get a shorter cut next Wednesday.   That might help with the freak out factor! :)   I also have an appointment with a gal recommended for wig advice tomorrow at 9:00 A.M.   All the cancer caps and scarf treatments I have seen still look like cancer caps. Marti H. (Oncology Community Coordinator) shared a scarf with me and showed me what it looks like then you tie it on.  She is very enthusiastic about the scarf approach.  She did say that most teachers opt for the wig because it reduce the questions from students.  As a substitute teacher  that might be something to consider.   I just don't know.  What will be the best fit for me?  Part of me just want to go bald.   It might be cooler (a hot flash remedy :), but I might have a really ugly head and it might be disturbing to others.  I don't even like the way I look with a wet head.  hmmmmm.  May be I should get a wig in a hair style I have always wanted, but couldn't do because of my uncooperative hair.   I also thought about getting a bunch of new hats and just have fun with hats.   That seems like a lot of work.  One wig....lots of hats.     Could be fun though....    There are so many decision.  I just want to take a nap :)

Other possible side effects:
Fatigue: caused by either low red count (anemia) and/ asthena- total body toxicity
Low blood white count:  Which causes a risk for infection-- I need to take my temp twice a day with my very own thermometer...no sharing :)
Numbness in fingers and toes- will go away after treatment
Burning in mouth
Brittle Fingernails --- dang, I was hoping it would strengthen my nails --- I have always had brittle and wimpy nails
Constipation/diarrhea  --wonder which this will be---can you have both? 

The Arimidex is one of the newer drugs on the "market" for hormone receptive tumors. This would start after Chemo and Radiation. It is more easily tolerated than tomoxifen and has less side affects.  It has two side affects that put me off.  Bone loss is one, Dr. Q assured me that they monitor bone density throughout the treatment and make indicated  adjustments to treatment or add other drugs to prevent bone loss.     The other is joint pain.  He told us that regular exercise is the best remedy for that.  It works... if you do it.   That would be good for my general health. I hope I can follow thru on that for 5 years.

If all goes well we should be done with Chemo and Radiation by mid January.  This is great!  We have a wonderful opportunity to accompany some great friends (Tim  & Karen Albert) to Hawaii around MLK Day.   We are planning to accept this invitation, it will be a great thing to look forward to, and wonderful respite from treatment and winter.   We are praying I will be free to go, we can gather the funds, and I will be up to enjoying it!  Dr. Q says we must go! :)

Don't have to wait so long

After giving it some time and thought I decided that waiting 2 weeks just wasn't going to work.  I call the Cancer Center back and asked to be put on the list for first available appt.  I just so happens that someone had just called to cancel an appointment on September 3rd.  I got that one.   I can live with that.

I am still on the list for an earlier appointment is one becomes available.

Waiting is hard!

Today I got the awaited call from Dr. Quackenbush. (Medical Oncologist).  I had been anticipating this call, wondering when I would hear the results of the molecular study on the tumor cells.

He said, " I have the results and they are quite interesting.  We need to meet as soon as possible to go over these together."  When can you come to the Cancer Center."

I said, " I can come any time."

He said,  "I will have our appointment nurse call you right back"

Now, wouldn't you think that this was going to be today?   Or maybe as late as Monday or Tuesday next week?
Nooooooo,   The gal called to set up the appointment.  The earliest I can see Dr. Q.  is Friday, September 11th.  Two more weeks.   Explain that to me!

I have a call in to the Patient Communication Nurse, Marty Hagerman.... but she is out till Monday.  I hope she can explain this to me.

I initially waited 2 weeks to see Dr. Q the first time, then he determined we needed more studies, another 2 week wait for the results, now 2 week wait to discuss the results.   Why didn't his nurse make sure I had an appointment to discuss the results when I saw him last?    That seems reasonable to me... what do you think?

Oncology Drs.

Today I met with two oncology doctors. One in charge of Radiation Therapy (Nigrin), the other Chemotherapy(Quakenbush).

The Short Version: Radiation is the best insurance against the return of breast cancer, it will be 7.5 weeks/5 days a week of radiation treatments

Chemo: doing another test to determine the best treatment. Will have to wait two weeks for those results.

The Long Version: Our first appointment was at 12:30 with Nigrin's nurse. She asked an hour's worth of questions and did all the usual vital signs and such. We then saw the Dr. She said that with lobular insitu it is either mastectomy or radiation..... your choice. The side effects of radiation are all skin related. A sunburn type damage, which they watch carefully. She recommends using a good aloe vera lotion... anybody know of a really good one?

They will only be treating the right side. I think I remember them saying it is 5 weeks for the whole breast area, and then 2.5 weeks focused on the offending site. I will go in for treatments every day Monday-Friday, with holidays off. (I am certain that is for the employees benefit, not the patient :) Apparently it is quick (15-20 minutes) the nurse said it takes longer to get dressed and undressed than to do the treatment. We shall see. The only reason for a break would be significant skin problems. These treatments will start after my blood level comes up after ChemoTherapy ends, usually about 1 week.

At 3:30 we saw Dr. Quakenbush. He reiterated that I have Lobular insitu cancer... that is Her2 negative and is not invasive. It could become invasive, but is not at this time. My chances of getting breast cancer have potentially doubled because I have had a breast cancer.

He then told me that I would be doing 5 years of tomoxafin. I knew enough to know that this was the treatment for a hormone receptive cancer. My understanding was that mine was NOT hormone receptive. Because of that we questioned him on it. He essentially said he didn't believe the lab results, that is was hormone receptive and tomoxafin was the way to go. We asked about side effects. The biggys are blood clots (mostly in smokers) uterine cancer, cataracts, and hot flashes. He asked me if I still had my uterus...yes, and told him my eye doctor has told me I have the beginnings of cataracts, and I am having hot flashes now that, yes, are keeping me awake at night. This gave him reason to pause and rethink. The hot flashes will get more disruptive (as I am typing this I am having wave after wave of excessive warmth)... and 5 YEARS of it... Argh! It would speed up the cataract development. So he decided that it would be best to do additional testing on the biopsy tissue.

Chemo would be for 3 months if that is what I need.

This would be a molecular study that would look for 16 different genes. This would then determine the best course for treatment. There is no reason to do tomoxafin if it is not hormone receptive and also no reason to do Chemotherapy if that won't do the trick as well.

This means that we are going to be waiting 2 weeks for those results.

Another bit of information is the order of treatment.
If it involves Chemo and Tomoxofin: Chemo-Radiation-Tomoxafin (5 yrs)
If it doesn't involve Chemo: Radiation-Tomoxafin (5 yrs)

So we are still in a wait and see place with lots of unknowns.

I am making most of the time working in my yards, working on projects and finding fun where ever I can. Last week we went to Southern Oregon to see my parents. On the way we stopped at Crater Lake, Rogue River Gorge and Natural Bridge. After our visit with the folks we went to the Redwoods in Northern California. These were all wonderful reminders of our creative and amazing God! We also had great visits with my parents and many, many more family members. I won't bore you with the list. It is a blessing to have wonderful, fun and supportive family members! God is Good!!

Tomorrow morning we are headed to North Idaho to go camping. Kendra and Tim, Ben and Daniel will be joining us, as well as several of Tim's family. We are ready to have a good time!

How to leave a Comment

For those of you who are not bloggers and would like to leave a comment on my entry here is how I think it can be done.

Click on the comment link at the bottom of an entry. It will have a number and the word "comments" For instance - 0 comments -

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Below that box will be a word shown to you that you will then type in the word verification space provided. This is to prevent spamming.

Click the Anonymous button.

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Pathology Report

Short Version: The Pathology report from the Lumpectomy came back negative for further cancer. Good News!

Long Version: Preston, Ben and I went to my follow-up visit with the surgeon. Dr. James gave us the Pathology report.
This is what it said:
Microscopic Diagnosis:
1. Sentinel Node #1: Negative for tumor
2. Sentinel Node #2: Negative for tumor
3. Biopsy Cavity, Excision:
Extensive lobular carcinoma in situ with severel FOCI less than 1mm from the inked surgical margin
Extensive atypical lobular hyperplasia with several FOCI less than 1 mm from the inked surgical margin
Sclerosing adenosis with microcalcifications
Extensive biopsy site changes
Negative for residual invasive carcinoma.

What that means (as I understand it) is they found precancerous cells, but none that are cancerous in any of the tissue they removed.

This also probably means Chemo and Radiaion therapy is advised. I now have appointments with the Oncology Dept at St Mary's in Walla Walla. I will meet with both the Chemo Doctor (Quackenbush) and the Radiation Doctor (Nigrin) on August 13th. At that time we will learn about what is in store for the months ahead.

Dr. James check the incision sites and was very pleased with how they looked. I must say they are much better looking than the first surgery!

I am going to enjoy August since I probably won't start Chemo till the end of the month. Next week we are going to see my family, (Dad, Mom, 2 sisters, 1 brother, 2 brother in laws, 1 sister in law, 4 nieces) and Preston's brother Wes, and sister in law Debbie... and hopefully more)

Thank you for your prayer and encouragement.

Feeling Good

I am amazed at how good I feel. The discomfort and bruising from the lumpectomy is minimal, no ill effects from anesthesia. This is much better than the biopsy. Wow, what a difference! The projected good news about the lymph nodes is encouraging as well.

By the way, I really like the glue and tape strips instead of stitches. They keep the area dry, don't feel like it is pulling.... yep a definite improvement..

I was able to get out yesterday and water flower pots in the barnyard (they needed it!) and of course when I get in the area where there are weeds to pull.... I just can't resist. I pulled quite a few :) Preston made me promise to only use my left hand. I mostly complied. It was great to get out and DO something. :)

Preston didn't let me help with digging the new steps in the barnyard. He made me sit and just be an adviser/supervisor.

Lumpectomy

Short version: Surgery went well and it appears there is no cancer in the Sentinel Nodes. Now waiting for lab results for confirmation.

Long Version: This morning I woke up earlier than necessary so I got up to enjoy a leisurely morning with no breakfast. I checked Facebook and my farm on FarmTown :) While doing that a 7 A.M. I got call from the hospital asking me when my appointment was. That made me laugh out loud. Shouldn't they be telling me when my appointment is? Anyway, the jist of it was... we have openings earlier. Come as soon as you can.... but don't speed, be safe. Crazy huh!

So, Preston grabbed his breakfast and we went. We were able to fairly quickly negotiated the admitting and pre-op stuff. They did have trouble getting the IV started (was wishing Ben was doing it ;) But after they warmed up my arm they got that going.

Off to surgery at about 10 A.M. Surgery took about 1.5 hours

After surgery Dr. James told us that it went very well, he found 2 sentinel lymph nodes that looked very good. The part I like was that he remove a good sized hematoma from the previous biopsy site and this should improve the healing and comfort of the right breast. YaHoo!

We are very pleased with the report from surgery and expect that the lab results will confirm the doctor's initial assessment.

I have eaten and feel good in that regard. I am a bit woozy and bit uncomfortable in surgery areas. I am hopeful that Tylenol and Advil will control that, but I do have a prescription for Oxycodon if I need it. (I hope not)

I am overwhelmed with all the love, care, support and prayer from all of you; my wonderful friends and family. God has surrounded us with His peace and comfort.

Thank you, may God bless you for being His hands and heart in my life.

MRI Results

Today we met with Dr. Charles James (surgeon) to get the report on the MRI.

Short Version: No other evidence of cancer anywhere!

Long Version:

I went to this appointment with a fair amount of anxiety. The last few appointments had delivered progressively worse news. I was anticipating the worst.

When the nurse called me back I sensed a lighter tone.... wishful hoping? Then she put us in a different room than the 2 previous appointments. I am thinking....maybe there is a good news room and a bad news room ;)

Dr. had just returned from a vacation in the Colorado, Utah area with his family. They did some rafting on the Colorado River. We visited about that and compared rafting trips. We rafted the Payette River in Idaho (South Fork Canyon) He shared that they were disappointed, they were not participants in the raft trip..just spectators. There were only class 2 and 3 rapids. It was more of a float trip than rafting. We on the other hand had a fabulous participative raft trip with many 3 and 4 class rapids and some great pictures to prove it. I hope to have those by the end of the week to share with you :) We had a great chat!

Then he said. "I have good news for you! The MRI shows no additional areas of concern. I still want to do surgery and check the lymph nodes. It is very unlikely I will find anything. But it is better to be safe than sorry."

And I agree!

Here is verbiage what what I assume is the summary of the report:\
IMPRESSION
1. Status post right breast lumpectomy with benign-appearing postoperative seroma cavity; birads 6
2. negative for residual disease within the right breast
3. benign-appearing left breast parenchyma, demonstrating scattered foci of type I progressive enhancement consistent with proliferative breast disease.
4. Negative for multicentric or multifocal breast carcinoma.


As I understand it Chemo and Radiation are still in the picture. I won't see the Oncologist until after the 31st when I get the results of the Lumpectomy and Lymph Node Surgery. I have more surgery on Thursday the 23rd.

We are celebrating this Good News.

Praying for God's continued peace.

I have Breast Cancer

This blog is for those people who want to be kept “in the loop” in my journey with breast cancer. I know that many of you are prayer warriors and welcome information that can make your intercession specific. I hope that my journaling here will help you with that. Many of you are concerned and what to know what is “Going On” with me (us). My plan is to share information about what is happening medically, as well as spiritually and emotionally. I am not sure where this blog will take us (you and I), but my primary goal is to keep you in The Loop. I will try to not do the TMI (Too Much Information) but… I don’t know what your level of TMI is, and honestly each of you has a different level. So I think I will do it this way. At the beginning of each blog will be the Short Version, and then the Long Version will follow.

Short Version:

I have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. We are still waiting for all of the test results to know exactly what we are dealing with. It appears I will most like have to do Chemo and Radiation. There are many decisions to make. I am not sure I have the courage and fortitude for this kind of journey. I would covet your prayers for us in the days ahead. Peace, Courage and Wisdom are high on my list of needs.

I am blessed by the number of you who have readily volunteered your support and concern. It helps tremendously to know I am not alone, I have all of you to pray for me and help if the need arises. I have no idea what is ahead of me and cannot predict what my needs will be.

The LOOOONNG Version:

Tuesday, June 9, 2009 I had my annual gynecological exam which always (in recent years) included a mammogram. That is the one thing I do to take care of me. I must confess I have never done self breast exams. I know, I know…. I should.

Monday, June 15^th I got a call from Walla Walla Clinic’s Radiology Dept. saying that they needed to redo some pictures from the mammogram, could I come in tomorrow afternoon. I went thinking that the pictures weren’t clear enough and just needed to be redone. It became clear when we got there that was not the case. There was a smaller squeezer on the machine. I was informed that this was to get a clearer picture of a specific area and would be more uncomfortable. Instead of a general… spread out squeeze it was more directed pressure. Yep, it hurt. The technician can back from showing them to the radiologist and said “She want an ultrasound – right now” I took a deep breath and said… okay. While Radiologist came and looked at the ultrasound pictures and determines that a needle biopsy was needed – right now. I said …. Right now? Yes, unless there is a reason not to. Are you okay with that? I thought “ I am here… it will save another day and another trip, I am busy getting ready for camp so this will be the wisest thing to do. Get it over with!

Not a fun experience. I can’t say it was painful, but very weird thing to experience, mostly because they worked hard to get that biopsy, as they couldn’t get the needle to go into the “mass”. It kept bouncing over or under or around it. At least that is what I think was happening- I wasn’t watching… just listening. The main thought that was going through my head was “I sure wish Preston were here, that would be helpful .” They finally got what they could and let me go.

Friday, June 19^th Preston and I are in Milton-Freewater do last minute errands getting ready for a week at Oregon Camp Cedarbrook. I got a call from the radiologist telling me that the lab results show highly suspicious cells but not enough to make a determination, and that I need to see a surgeon soon. Do I want to see him today or Monday? I told her “I am leaving tomorrow for camp and will be gone all of next week.”

“Well, then, you need to see him today. The Surgeon’s office will call you in 5 minutes to set up the time.”

I thought, “You are kidding, right? I really don’t have time for this. I need to focus on packing for camp. I have plenty on my mind preparing to direct camp, leading a staff of 39. Really, do I have to do this TODAY.” But we went (Preston & I) and met with the surgeon. We set up the appointment for the biopsy (so they could get a real sample) for Tuesday, June 30^th Biopsy would go out for several tests to determine the type and what it was sensitive to.

I went to camp with the thought in mind that I had had this done 11 years ago and it turned out to be nothing at all so all was going to be fine.

Camp was great.

June 30thThe surgery went fine, Dr. was reasonably certain he got it all and he thought it looked suspicious. He suggested that we set up an appointment on the following Friday to get the results. (He forgot that it was a holiday weekend. J) I am telling you, the swelling and bruising were IMPRESSIVE and uncomfortable! I am not anxious to repeat that again.

July 6^th we met Monday, (It was a holiday weekend) and even then they didn’t have the full report. They did know it was cancer…. but not much more. At this time we learned that there are 3 factors that are measures to determine the stage, treatment and future. (Bear in mind this is what I remember from a very shocking, numbing meeting.) They are T for tumor , N for lymph nodes, and M for Metastasis. He said because my tumor was 1.5, we caught it early - this made the T a T1 on a scale of 1-4 The M and N are still up in the air and need more tests and to determine that. So we set up another appt for Friday the 10^th to hear more details. By the way the Dr was quite surprise at the bruising and stated that it was a good thing to wait until after his vacation to the Grand Canyon to do further surgery. This surgery will be to go deeper on all the margins of the previous biopsy (to make sure they got it all), and to check lymph node J Sounds lovely huh! I am not looking forward to that!

The surgeon told me there was a great group of Breast Cancer survivors who meet monthly and handed me a gift bag of gifts from them. I was surprised by my reaction to that. It went something like this.

“I don’t want or need another group…let alone that one. I don’t need whatever is in that bag. It is NOT for me. But this I know: My family, my church family, my God are going to be my support group. “

I was not the one who brought the gift bag home with us… Preston did. I didn’t even what to touch it! It seemed repulsive. I suppose I may change my mind as this journey progresses. When I finally brought myself to look at what was in that bag (about 1 week later) I was not helped by it at all. I don’t mean this to sound harsh or trivialize the heartfelt concern of these survivors I have not met, but it seemed silly, trite, cheesy. I suppose that might say something about where I am in processing all this new information. I wonder what I will think about it in 6 months.

On the 10^th we got the written lab results. Here is a summary what we know so far.

Not Hormone receptive

Measures 1.5 x 2.2 x.1 cm That mean that the T is now T2

Looks like infiltrative lobular carcinoma associated with situ carcinoma, lobular in situ carcinoma

This type apparently is not easily picked up by regular mammograms… so the MRI may pick up more and may find some on the other side.

Grade II/III

Pathologic Stage: pT2 pNX pMx ( x mean unknown) I don’t know what p is (possibly, possibly)

There is much more on the lab results pages…If you are interested in more details ---just ask.

So now we are waiting for the results of the MRI and the other biopsy tests which they didn’t have the results from yet on the 10^th.

It has been challenging to keep my mind from imagining the worst, anticipating the worst. I have my ups and downs with the emotions. I have found that keeping busy, and having projects to do or something to look forward to have been very helpful. Right now I have several good sized projects I need to work on….so don’t be coming up with any of those for me ;). I do want to hear about what is going on in your lives. Focusing on mine is not very uplifting or fun. We will get thru it and come out on the other side. I am trusting God to be with me daily, and provide exactly what is needed for that day.

Our next Dr appointment is Monday, July 20^th to learn more good news about test results^.. Further surgery is planned for Thursday, July 23^rd.